Direct vs. Indirect

Direct game means approaching a woman with open intent. You make her aware of your desire either verbally or with body language.

When do you do direct game? During the day or,  at night when your status is higher than hers or she is already attracted to you. However, even if she is not attracted to you, simply by approaching her and putting it all on the line demonstrates alpha characteristics ( confidence ) which can switch on attraction all by itself.  So how can your status be higher than hers? If you are in the same room as her, DHVing in ways like  enjoying the company of other attractive women and being alpha (leader of your group) then she may already be attracted.

Direct works well during the day. When put together with a time constraint you can get a number close, she gets attracted by your confidence and yet both of you can exit out of this high stakes but exciting situation quickly. 
Remember, people going about their business during the day  at a shopping mall, for example, are not in a social situation. Doing indirect during the day is not as productive and a little wierd since the woman will know what you're up to anyway - she won't have time for it and neither will you.


The problem with Direct game at night is that, in many cases, it becomes a Yes/No ultimatum for the woman when you tell her that you like her. Even if she is initially attracted the chemistry may not spark and she may feel burdened by your presence especially if you are in a club and it is early in the night. So, if she is already attracted to you, your status is higher and you can demonstrate that she won't be burdened if attraction doesn't build then go direct at night.



Indirect Game means approaching with active disinterest verbally and through body language. You communicate this with tactics such as opinion openers, pointing your feet away while talking to a group and saying things such as 'I've only got a second but..'

When do you do indirect game? if a woman is not yet attracted to you or her status is higher than yours then indirect gives you the time to game her because she feels that you are not a threat. It works well where there is a big age difference. A 45 year old directly hitting on a 20 year old without attraction can feel sleazy to a girl but approaching indirectly can get her to want you through building attraction in a way that feels comfortable for her.

The disadvantage of indirect is that you may just become friends with the girl (by being non-sexual on open) and the Beta style of indirect body language and opinion openers. However these disadvantages should be mitigated after the open by discarding the open style once in set. i.e. now you are facing them, getting sexual, controlling the group etc. - all Alpha traits. Anyway as an older guy you likely have good internal game and status having accomplished significant things in your life.

Where there is age disparity use indirect, otherwise either method depending on the circumstance.

What women think of Nice Guys

This is from  one woman on why she doesn't appreciate so-called nice guys:

"When I'm with a guy who is very easy to please, I don't feel a need to take the relationship any further. I don't have an interest in getting dressed up because hes happy regardless, or even do little things for him.. Women want somebody they can look up to, someone they have to go out of their way to please. Its intriguing, its fun, it pushes us to be better. Challenge our ideas every once in awhile, you don't have to be mean, but if your so easy to get along with then a woman might feel that you're desperate, and that she can be easily replaced by any girl.

If a woman can land a guy with high standards, its like winning the lottery. You're proud to be with the person you're with, you know you fought for them. And you know they must truly look up to you if "love" wasn't a word that was in their vocabulary before they met you, and now it is.

From3: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_do_women_not_prefer_%27nice%27_guys#ixzz18qV9D9gR

Open Log: No Approach=Nothing to learn

Went out last night and did not attempt to open one set. Felt very self conscious all night. Everytime I thought about approaching I froze and thought only about being rejected.I felt intimidated by the high level of energy by sets and when I saw a HB10 all I could think of was how beautiful she was and just ogled.

On reflection, what I should have done given my low energy was:
1) Talked myself into just opening without having any expectations.
2) Set clear goals beforehand (e.g. open four sets only)
3) Persuaded one of the women I was hanging out with to be my pivot and get her to open for me.
In other words I didn't adapt to my state of mind, neither did I make an attempt to change it. Part of the problem may have been that the women I was hanging out were part of a larger group and when I made attempts to warm-open these I got very little hook. This sunk my energy a little.
So even if I am not in the mood, I should practice some part of pick-up so that I can get more practice.

Sexual silence

There's a very interesting point in every interaction just after attraction has been growing steadily. You feel like something is about to happen, it's coming, and then...it does. It's suddenly silent. You seem to have run out of things to say, can't remember routines and the silence creeps in between the two of you.  It gets awkward, tension increases then suddenly shoots up through the roof.  You both feel really uncomfortable.  You look at each other nervously. Then you do one of two wrong things; either you get up and say 'Hey, Why don't you give me your number and we'll see that band you like' or you smather the moment with inane babble / questions.  You're talking again but something just got sucked out of the air between you. She looks at you.  Attraction dwindles and its over.

Miss the moment and you're sunk

What happened here? You felt the uncomfortable moment and then did what you're supposed to do - you fixed it.  Then why did her attraction sink?

She lost attraction because that uncomfortable moment wasn't created from a lack of things to say, rather it was there because the interaction had led to this very point. The point to take action.  It's often hard to detect but the woman knows its there and you're supposed to.

Trying to gloss over this moment or patch it up with chat  is a big mistake and women can be very unforgiving about this sort of thing.

Remember you're job is to lead. You have to take responsibility for everything - including this awkward moment. That silence, when there is attraction, is sexual silence, the moment before the good stuff breaks through. It is a shared moment of intimacy that feels  uncomfortable,  creates a strong feeling of anxiety but is sexual. If you try and ignore it or leave her at that moment you are communicating your fear of sexuality. You have demonstrated that you will not be able to lead her sexually. That is exactly what you project when you dodge the moment.  She will chalk you down as asexual, fearful and will lose attraction for you.

But there's a a simple way to fix it. Hold the moment then kiss her. It doesn't matter if she complies or not but it demonstrates that you are comfortable with sexual tension and you will lead the sex to  places she wants to go.

Confidence, status, authenticity & warmth, social status are important but remember that the number one thing you are trying to project confidence  - will be gone in a puff of smoke if you are not comfortable with sexual tension. You are responsible for what you project. So take care of it.
Sexuality is an iceberg topic because on the surface we demonstrate our virility in the chase, we negate it at these critical moments because of  deeper issues that are related to intimacy.

Open Log: "You'll stay here until I decide you go" True quote

Out at a packed city bar and I spy this cute looking drunk girl. Walk right past her and she gives me this strong IOI with her eyes. I turn to her and say 'You look like trouble' she: 'I am' then we chit chat about her accent. I do a compliance test 'give me your hands' She does 'lower them'  she does. (passing test means I can escalate).  I then do a cold read based on what I see in her hands. She has some callouses so I reckon she does some manual labour and gardening. I 'm right on the money with the cold read. She then says she's ugly etc but I start complimenting her. She easily baited me and I felt like I was entering nice guy death territory with compliments and ass kissing. Still,  she doesn't run away. I keep on holding her hands and do a triangular gaze. We kiss. I then say (to demonstrate I can walk away)  'I was right about you being trouble. I should go back to my friends.' Then she drops this bombshell:

"You'll stay here until I decide you go"

It's important to understand the meaning she was conveying here. What she strongly communicated by her tone and body language was 'I have the power. You are only here because I say so and you will only stay for as long as I find you amusing'.

Wow!

So I say 'That's where you're wrong'. I disengage and turn and walk away. I was committed to walking off an not coming back.
Now you know exactly what happened next!
She grabs my arm and pulls me in.
Then I give her a kiss and she grinds into me like a pornstar.

A great learning moment discovering  a) What a woman is really thinking and b) How to pull the rug from under that thinking, take full control and have her desire you irrationally.

Club Game ABC

Club game means dealing with a super loud and charged environment where it is difficult to run normal game. You really have to have a lot of energy to be the center of attention in clubs.

Try this:

a) Approach a 2 set (usually HB5-7s are in two sets)

b) Run opener, routine and DHV

c) Once in, Pivot them to approach a 5 set with higher Hbs
d) Introduce the girls, neg your target, friend the guys
e) Work on your target with disinterest, DHVs and routines (short is better).
f) Get her alone by bringing her out to the smoking area.
g) Run game on her out there.

Remember, the dance floor is death. Once you go to the floor she may not get off or her friends will come back and will AFOG you.
If you do get stuck on the floor or managed to get a girl to dance with you (an IOI) then tell her to come with you, turn your back and walk off. If she does, you have a very high chance of number and kiss closing once you take her to a quieter location.

Are you that sleazy old guy in the club? Problems when out alone.

'Ewwww!' she says, 'look at that creepy old guy hitting on Ariel!' and in come the drag away police.  This is what, unfortunately,  women will think of you - and worse, when you are out alone and do the wrong things in a club/bar.

Don't be this guy. Alone and ogling girls

Going it alone is hard. Going it alone when you are twice the average age of everyone in the club is extremely hard.  Why go then? A night venue is the coliseum and you are the gladiator.You decide to enter this environment simply because of the large volume of women in the one location where mistakes are made and learned from rapidly. How rapidly? One night of club game equals three months reading books or blogs like this.  Think of it as an exciting solo mission with the opportunity to train in zero sum terrain. You must approach, open and hook mixed sets under extreme conditions. The goal is simple: improve your skills and develop mastery. You're not there (as a beginner)  to pick up women. 

So how do you survive solo club game? It's all about your mental state. The difference between a creep and a winsome individual is that a one exudes confidence and is pushy while a creep is just pushy without any confidence. You can be a sleaze at 20 or 50.  I know a 60 year guy who goes to clubs and is a very cool individual that nearly always end up with an entourage. He's neither rich nor famous nor sleazy, creepy nor wierd. He goes the hell where he wants when he wants and commands respect.

The club is not a place to sit on a couch, have a beer and stare at girls. Don't be a perv, sit alone and ogle, drink alcohol, have an outcome or be needy; you are there to train.  

Or this

Remember, the woman of your dreams will not be met in a club. It's going to happen someplace else, in a supermarket, at a PTA, on the plane - but not in the artificial world of pubs and clubs.  You are there to open sets and work through escalation to get a number, friend, or kiss close, most of which will be worthless. So remember to be in training mode at all times and slap yourself on the back because it takes tremendous BALLS to go out and meet women alone without a wing. What you get out of it is the application of knowledge in the field and is the only way to learn.

So how do you avoid looking like a creepy old guy perving after young girls in a nightclub when you are out alone?

1) Be the guy who is friends with everyone.
How do you be friends with everyone - chat with everyone and anyone.

Or this guy. Look at her Body Language. Creeped out.

 Open mixed sets and disqualify yourself from the females so the males will relax (married, engaged etc). You don't want to appear to be there alone and on the hunt. When I enter a club or bar, I walk straight through without looking around as if I am a) already familiar with the place and b) meeting a 'friend and then open someone with the three second rule.

  The problem with people thinking you are alone and on the hunt is that they will likely project low social value on to you, so just make it look that you are looking for friends, waiting for friends or be in set. Once you start opening sets and this is seen, you will generate plenty of SV because you are friends with everyone. Ironically, being on your own, being confident and not looking like you are out for a lay is a DHV on its own. Women will be impressed by the confidence of a guy who can go out on his own.   Plus, it makes it easier for women to game you.  (See the last para for more on this)


2) Have good strong energy.
Be positive and upbeat and look like you are enjoying yourself. You need to get yourself out of your head and into a state before going into the club. A great thing to do before going out is to take an improv or acting class - anything that is with other people and builds energy.  Remember, when you open a set, you need to have just a little bit more energy than them. My mental state is unaffected by the loud music and energy of the crowd - I bring my own energy in and this makes me a 'little cooler'.  Remember the no outcome rule which means that you should be walking away from sets (at high points) because you are not there to pick them up.

3) Don't drink/take drugs
Get a soda and lime and sip it. When asked, tell people it is a gin and tonic, vodka tonic, whatever. Drink hurts game. The whole point of learning game is that you can approach and create attraction in a woman anytime and anywhere day or night- not just when you and her are drunk.  You'll make too many mistakes when drinking and it doesn't compensate for the false bravado.. Plus you won't learn from your experience because the next day it will all be a blur.  When you can game anytime, the thrill of getting a woman into you when both of you are clean and sober is absolutely awesome and incredibly sexual.

4) Go Early
Get there before midnight (depending on bar closing times in your area) before it gets crowded and people get wedged into groups for the night. Start game in the line because there you can actually talk and be heard. Ask them 'Is x DJ playing here?'   Once inside, game the first girl you see near the door by forcing an IOI and asking her about the venue.


SHE GAME
As mentioned above, going it alone has advantages. So let's talk about that for a second.

Advantage 1) She Game
One of the main ones being that women can approach you! We all know that women instigate ninety percent of approaches with Approach Invitations through IOIs so actually making the approach just depends on how much balls she has.  She will most likely game you by ordering a drink beside you, accidentally meeting you in a line, bumping into you and a ton of other not so subtle girl tricks.

However, if  you are stuck with a bunch of guys and a woman across the room finds you attractive, she's not going to walk in and game you like a player, She'll be forced to wait until you excuse yourself to the gents or go off to buy a drink. Even if you with a wing then her friend will have to be into your bud.

Advantage 2) It's a DHV
 Being alone is a DHV because of the confidence it projects about you. Do you know anyone who saunters out alone into the night to pick up women? It takes balls. So when you are out there alone, realize how cool youa are- because women will sense it.

Advantage 3) You are forced into set
Because you can't hang with friends or a wing like a security blanket and spend ages getting up the courage to enter set, you are forced to play the 3 second rule resulting in more sets and thus a better gaming experience. Think Rugby vs. American Football.